But then, why aren't we? I realized that most times I am too worried or pissed of or anxious to be happy and I overthink every tiny detail and somehow it feels like, given the circumstances, I am not allowed to be happy. My boyfriend's job search isn't going so well. I have difficult events to organize in the near future. My friend's partner is a douche. There are major decicions ahead of me. How could I be happy? I have to take care of so many things. I have to get my shit together. There's no time to be happy.
Let's write this down:
I am always allowed to be happy!
I don't have to ask for permission to be happy. Even if my life is stressful and overwhelming, I can still be happy. All it depends on is what I focus my energy on. Do I drown in my misery? Or do I take the nessecary steps in order to improve my life, but afterwards allow myself to calm down, be grateful and do something which makes me happy?
Do what makes you happy. This sounds about right, but it's still too vague. What makes us happy is a tricky decision. Maybe we think watching TV shows all day long and eating chocolate makes us happy, it definitely does!, but in the long run, is this really how you want to live your life eyery day?
So rather than telling myself, do what makes you happy, I tell myself:
Do what makes you feel alive!
Doing what makes you feel alive gives you energy, it makes you really live and soon you will thrive for more experiences, for change, for risk - all the things which make you happy.
What makes me feel alive? The first time I thought about this saying, I was having a bath with my boyfriend some years ago. I looked at him and it was like I could literally feel the existence of my beating heart, that's how physically I felt my love for him. In that moment I understood, this is what they mean, when they say "He makes me feel alive."
Still many moments in which I feel alive are with my boyfriend. Cuddling, deep talks, sex, experiencing a beautiful night sky with him. But there is so much more. Creating something, may it be a blog post, a novel or a photograph makes me feel alive. Sharing my work makes me feel alive. Travelling, going out with my friends, great conversations, dancing, reading a book which really pulls me in, meeting new interesting people - all of these things make me feel alive.
In 2016 I want to do more of what makes me feel alive. Will you join me?