And then everything changed

Mittwoch, 24. Mai 2017

Let go of the stuff that weighs you down

And with this I mean your literal stuff. Your belongings. Having too many things just weighs you down, it chains you to a place and makes you less flexible. You should also get rid of your emotional baggage but start with your actual baggage and you will be suprised by what an emotional effect it will have.

My main task for May (besides the obvious: surviving and not messing up too badlly) has been to get rid of stuff. I helped my Mum clearing out her basement and sold stuff on Ebay. I sold my old clothes on a fleemarket and the Internet and I donated and gave away the rest. I threw away so many old letters, birthday cards, study material, scribbles, articles I tore from magazines, and so much more. I had fun going through all these memories and indulging in the nostalgia of easier times (which were tough in their own way obviously - we just tend to idealize the good old times even if they weren't so good). But I had even more fun throwing those memorias away. I will always have my actual memories- Yes, I will forget stuff but that's just my brain's way of telling me that this stuff doesn't matter anymore.

For me there's nothing more freeing than getting rid of stuff. I always wanted to have rather few things than many. The main reason is that owning little makes it that much easier to pack up and move. I live in a rented apartment where all the furniture and other stuff down to the cutlery belongs to my landlord. It makes me breath easier. Sure, some day I might invest in sturdy furniture and pretty dishes but I'm only 25 and I love the feeling of being able to leave within a couple of days to wherever life drags me to.

Also having lots of stuff around me gives me a feeling of heaviness. It's messy and crowded. I can still make my place look messy without a lot of stuff but it's much easier to do this if you own a lot.

Lastly, in the end I aks myself: What does all this stuff even mean? Nothing. Sure I like cute clothes and fascinating books but only the ones which I am actually using regurarily. That's enough. Because if you think about it, things don't mean anything. They don't feed you and they surely don't make you happy. What matters are the people you love and the activities you're passionate about. Which is why I rather spend my money on experiences than on things. And I'm glad to see that this seems to be a trend. Minimalism is in. People start to understand that belongings won't make you happy. Which shows me that we're not living in such a horrible time after all.

Tumbler Photo

(PS: I know that I started a blog post with "And" - and I'm totally fine with it.)

Dienstag, 9. Mai 2017

Stop being a grumpy asshole and have a good laugh #4

On some days we somehow lack the motivation to do anything. On these occasions it always cheers me up to look at funny memes and pictures, especially if they're about my favorite fandoms. So here are some of them - the Harry Potter edition. There will be a lot of Marauders joke because come on, everyone knows they're the best thing about Harry Potter, right?

(You can find the Game of Thrones edition here.)

Mittwoch, 3. Mai 2017

Is Love Enough?

You know how the movies end once the couple have admitted to their love and come together, making us think that from then on there will never be problems again, like in the hiraliously accurate song from Crazy Ex Girlfriend?

Well, you guessed it, it's a lie. The real challenges starts when the movies end. Relationships are hard and you will have problems no matter how over the heels in love you are with each other. They say: Love is enough. But sometimes this is hard to believe. So is it true?

I think there are two types of struggles a relationship can face. The first are external struggles. You might get along fantastically and be happy with each other every second you are together. But the rest of your lives might not be so sunny. Even if it seems like your love life is all that matters, unfortunately this is not the case. Career, family, health, and more - all these areas can produce problems which will probably also have an impact on your relationship. For example you might have to move for a job or because a family member needs help. You might have to face legal or health problems which threaten to tear your relationship apart.

The good news is that this doesn't reduce your love in any way. It might even strengthen it, when you get a "You and me against the world" mentality which is kind of romantic. But it's still tough. Constantly fighting for what you love is exhausting. You have each other but it can seem like the rest of the world is trying to pull you apart. And there are relationships which fail because someone has to move away or is too involved in their job. But are those the relationships which are built on real deep can't-live withouth-each-other-love? Probably not. My secret is that I'm a big romantic and I think that in the end love will always be stronger than all those external things which are making your shared lives difficult.

The second kind of strunggles a relationship may face are internal ones and those are a bit more tricky. I'm not talking about having a fight now and then or sometimes being annoyed by a habit of your partner. I'm talking about the big stuff. We all know these couples who seem to do nothing but fight - often about the same issue over and over again. When a relationship brings you more misery than joy, it's obvious that there's something fundamentally wrong with it. You might just not work well with each other, you don't get along which is why you constantly hurt each other.

This is definitely unhealthy. But still I have seen couples of this sort stay together for years and years despite having so many internal problems. Because they love each other. For me the one sign which tells if someone is your one big love is if they stay. Love is stronger than all these struggles, even if it makes you miserable.

So yes, I do think that love is enough and I also think that in many cases you really don't have a choice than to fight for it. Because it's brutal, yes, but it's also the most amazing feeling you will ever experience.