Life never follows your plan

When I was 15 or 16 I did an internship at a magazine which is why I was away from home for a whole month. I spent my nights talking to the girl I shared a room with and telling her about all my fabulous plans I had for my life. At some point she said: You know, sometimes plans don't work out like that. Obviously back then I was too ignorant to believe her because what did she know? She was a teen just like me. I thought that I had it all figured out. Turns out, she was absolutely right. Except you can replace the "sometimes" with "never": Plans never work out like that. Because life doesn't give a shit about your plans.

I don't even remember what my Master Plan as a teen exactly consisted of but I'm pretty sure it included studying journalism in Munich and coming home only for Christmas via an adventurous mini-road-trip with cool new friends, listening to Driving Home for Christmas. Well, that didn't work out. I didn't study in Munich and dindn't study journalism but European Studies, then Sociology and Politcs, then Creative Writing, then Literature. I'm trained to work in a publishing house, not a newspaper. I'm light years away from where I thought I'd be when I was 16.

And here's the secret: I'm kind of okay with that. So, my dreams didn't come true but instead I did and experienced and discovered so many other, exiting things I never even thought about before. I became a better version of myself. I tried out so many jobs and hobbies, I lost count. I fell in love. I got engaged. I traveled a lot. I work in a hairsalon at the moment and I love it.

I still like planing but ever since I graduated High School I've given up on pretending that I know where my life will lead me. Because I was wrong so many times, it would be crazy to still believe in it. Instead I follow the path that unfolds in front of me, even though I have no clue where it's leading. I don't think that I have it all figured out anymore because on most days I feel utterly lost. And that's absolutely acceptable. So when life doesn't follow your plan (again), put on a smile and your big girl boots and then put one foot in front of the other until you find something new to walk towards. It'll be fine. I promise.

Here's a beautiful song which really nails my philosophy:

And also, just because it's November and I mentioned it:

PS: I'll be on vacation till December, so I won't be posting for the next few weeks. Have a wonderful November!

Carrie Bradshaw's Boyfriends from Best to Worst

I've been re-watching Sex and the City and was reminded of all the guys Carrie went out with, out of which she had serious relationships with very few (only four to be specific). Carrie definitely had some shitty partners but she also had some great ones. So here is my ranking of Carrie Bradshaw's Boyfriends from Best to Worst.

1. Aleksandr Petrovsky

Alexandr was the only one of Carrie's boyfriends and dates who I envied her for a bit. Let's be honest mostly the girls' guys weren't that impressive (many of them were garbage in fact) but Alexandr was one of the very few men on the show who I admired. He was just so sexy, romantic, creative. He was an artist without being too neurotic. He was fun to watch and so passionate. And he really gave Carrie everything. He gave her the world. The only thing he denied her were children (because of his age) but he made up for it by showering her in love and romantic gestures and offering her a glamorous life. To this day, I haven't watched the last two episodes of the show because I cannot bear watching Carrie leave Alexandr for Big.

2. Aidan Shaw

Aidan wasn't so shabby either, in fact he was pretty perfect. He was handsome and kind and sexy. He had a dog and he wasn't afraid of commitment. His only problem was that he fell in love with the wrong women because he was far too good for Carrie. She hurt him and really messed him up (twice!) and she proved again and again that she doesn't deserve him. I like that they show Aidan going on to fall in love with another women, marry and have a kid because he really deserved to be happy.

3. Jack Burger

Oh, Jack Burger was terrible. At first he was kind of intriguing, cute, funny and interesting but then he turned out to have so, so many problems. Burger was the worst version of a writer, the very cliché of a neurotic artist who will never find happyness because he sabotages himself. He just couldn't stand that Carrie was more successful than him. He felt like such a poor, tragic, misunderstood writer, that he forgot to notice that his self-pity was freaking everyone out (including himself). He really did Carrie a favor, when he dumped her.

4. Mr. Big

But not even Burger was as aweful as Big. I know, he's supposed to be Carries one true love, but come on! Those two were never meant for each other because all they did was destroy each other, while in this case Carrie was truly the victim. But she kept running back to him again and again. Big was Carrie's drug which will one day kill her. He was arrogant and condescending and at many, many times a downright asshole. More importantly, he was not willing to commit to the smallest things. He was obsessed with his freedom though he was already in his 40s. He was like a small kid, never willing to grow up and it annoyed me so much. Plus, he wasn't even that good looking.

It really upsets me that women watch this show dreaming of meeting someone like him, when this is actually the worst that could happen to them. If they want stability they should look for Aidan-types and if the want adventure they should look for Alexandr-types and if they want a whiny writer they can give Burger a try. But if they see a Big-type they should run the other way as fast as they can. I realize that this is an unpopular opinion but for me Big was really the worst. Carrie ended up with him because she's addicted to misery, not because he's her Happy End.